Commemorating in Canada

Often it is the choice of words that makes it difficult for Austrian Gedenkdienst interns and Jewish Holocaust survivors to work together. As representatives of the "Perpetrator country" Austria, their work was initially received skeptically. "You're sixty years too late," people said, and "You just want to make Austria look good." Today however, fears of having to work together for a common goal - to deal with the horrors of the NS regime - have been replaced by practical everyday experiences. An inside report.

There are some words that we are not allowed to use during our work with Holocaust survivors. "Selection," is one of them. Before their deportation, the deportees were "selected" by the National Socialists.

Another example: "Efficiency." When the Nazis tried to find the quickest and most economical way of transporting future KZ inmates to their annihilation by cattle train, efficiency was always a keyword.

The "Golden Age" is the cafeteria of the Jewish senior citizen's center in Montreal. When I wanted to express my satisfaction to the cook of having apple-sauce on my desert, by using the German "Jawohl," I could feel the room go silent for a moment.

It could have ended badly, but in the end, everyone went on eating.

What sounds like a strange and almost humorous game with words, has in fact a serious background - one that must be approached with sensibility and understanding. Even though I was aware of the criminal vocabulary before I began my service, I did not understand its impact on those who were affected by it. The survivors that I interview on tape still shake and shiver when they tell me about their experiences that are over 60 years old.

I created an internet-page for the museum, and realized that the color yellow is also not allowed to be used. In fact, it does not appear on any of the prints of the museum.

Yellow was the color with which Jews were marked and stigmatized in the Third Reich. There are still too many people here that remember this.

The Montreal Holocaust Memorial Centre is run by Holocaust survivors together with four Jewish employees of second and third generation. By an initiative of Holocaust survivors, the museum was founded in 1974, and is now completely integrated into the Jewish center of Montreal. Survivors take an important role in all levels of management and leadership. Many survivors are still hesitant about accepting modern museum pedagogy. They are too much affected by their personal trauma. Many of them say that the purpose of a Holocaust center is to commemorate, and that it does not require a portrayal of Jewish life before and after the war. Other employees are only slowly managing to expand this narrow focus.

Strangely enough, the museum runs a film program that shows video films about the Nazi period. Once a month, survivors sit together and watch horror films with sentences like "Get rid of the Jews," and machine gun volleys. The viewers sit silently, eyes wide open, eat cookies and drink coffee. It is difficult to imagine a more bizarre situation. Until this day I don't know why they do it.

These Holocaust survivors are no different than my grandparents. The old pictures that they show me are the same, their education and work similar, and they often even speak the same language. At schools in Montreal I talk about my grandparents and their role in the National Socialist system. The students are amazed when I talk about "tipping over." This is the point at which ideals change from being good and honorable - in terms of physical health as well as morality - into suddenly opposing all those who were not that way, or who were portrayed as different by state propaganda. Whenever we saw pictures of the cheering Heldenplatz crowd [in Vienna] at the Anschluss, my grandmother always shook her head. "There we stood," she would say and wonder. She simply had no explanation.

My colleague Michael Pollan is the first Jewish Austrian Gedenkdienst Intern. This raises two questions: Is he Austrian? Is he a member of the Jewish community? Despite these unresolved questions of definition, we are involved in all areas of the museum. Together we work on interviews of the "Witness to History" series, video interviews meant to record the stories and experiences of survivors before they vanish with their deaths. In the archives we translate German documents into English, and take care of the present exhibit about children during the Holocaust. The museum is also a service center.

We help those who were persecuted to fill out papers concerning restitution from Germany and Austria. This presents a peculiar conflict of interests, because when we return to Austria, we will eventually have to pay for this restitution. But it helps when I get to know the recipients, and see how many of them live on minimum pensions, using the money to buy their third set of teeth.

Personally, I have to pay around ATS 25 per work hour. The money from Austria is not enough to completely cover my costs. This is called "self initiative", and it gives me some backup against people who say that Austria pays Gedenkdienst interns to take it easy abroad.

We are asked a lot, and are forced to give explanations. As Gedenkdienst interns in Canada, people approach us with questions and concerns about Austria. Again and again we are asked why Austria is dumb enough to vote for such a government. I explain the principles of democracy and express my gratitude for the protests, because they are also a part of a democratic system. I also say that Haider is not a Nazi, and that the previous government constellation of the two main parties had to end sooner or later. I tell them that I am glad that at least Austrians have a political opinion again these days.

I also don't forget to point out xenophobia and populism in Canada, and express my general concern about politicians who polarize.

There was only one case where an unknown person complained that we were still in a good mood and whistling.

Lieselotte survived the Holocaust as a child. With the arrival of the Gedenkdienst interns she has begun to speak German again. When we make coffee, we chat about the coffee's quality, and about good Austrian deserts.

What makes a good atmosphere is working together, beyond political theorizing and official apologies - which are incidentally very important for everyone I have spoken to. The people here are - very normal - and are just afraid of everything Austrian that reminds them of the past.

When I return to Austria next January, I will be a teacher and work with students. This year has taught me to understand what education can be good for.

Information: Gedenkdienst was founded by the Innsbruck political scientist Dr. Andreas Maislinger in 1992. As an alternative for military or community service, there are currently about 60 Gedenkdienst interns worldwide. Compared to the 12 months of community service, Gedenkdienst is 14 months, and is afterwards recognized as an alternative service. For more information on the internet see: www.auslandsdienst.at and www.gedenkdienst.at

Lothar Bodingbauer, born 1971, studied mathematics and physics at the University of Vienna, and works as a radio journalist for the Austrian Public Broadcast (ORF) and the German radio. He is spending this year as a Gedenkdienst intern for the Verein fuer Dienste im Ausland in Canada.